Conversation & Prejudices

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."-

Albert Einstein.

It is obvious that we want a better life for our kids and our future, so how do we start? Conversation. Not just any conversation, good conversation. You need people to freely converse with one another without it escalating to an argument. But people’s feelings about life and their own religion becomes a factor leading people to get upset and to shut down.

When we are children, we question everything. Some people get older and stop asking questions. They are set in their way of thinking because of a few reasons. One: Their religion has spelt out everything for them. Two: They feel like they have experience enough that they know everything already and thus do not need conversation. Three: Some people think it is pointless.

One: Religion. There are some people with strong religious beliefs who are not open to conversation. They get very angry when an unsettling topic (like gay marriage, abortion, etc) is mentioned because it goes against their beliefs. Religious people have nothing else to say accept for the doctrine that was planted in their heads. They do not think for themselves. Even if you know you are correct, at least have the conversation with a person and see what they are trying to say instead of just insisting you are right. That’s the difference between having a closed mind and an open mind.

If you are part of a religious group that wants to convert people to your own religion like Christianity and Islam, then why do you do it? You want to see a better world, is that correct? Then have the conversation. That is where a better world starts.

I listen when I have a conversation. When I realize it is about what they believe I understand it is about what they do not know. Then I explain the meaning of the word belief.

When you stop asking questions or stop engaging in conversation, you become obedient. It creates a chain reaction of corruption that gives the people in charge the feeling that they are beyond reproach. Since no one asks questions then they are free to commit the most heinous crimes like priests raping little children and police accepting bribes. I’m not saying they do the crime because they have freedom, I’m saying they commit to the crime since there’s a chance they won’t get caught when they know people will not ask questions.  

I am sure you’ve seen the movie were a regular person hears a certain word and then turns into an assassin. That word acted as a trigger for the man who had no idea he was a killer. It’s like the same thing for religious people who are regular citizens; say something about gay marriage or other religious topic and they go nuts. Some words will rattle their cage because most religious people are brainwashed.

There is no such thing as fighting words, only brain washed ignorant nincompoops who take words too seriously.

Two: Experience. Sometimes a person’s own experience gets in the way of their mode of thinking. They end up having a conversation they think they are having. These people need to listen to what other people are saying because not all experiences are the same. Just because you have a lot of life experience does not make you the expert on life because that is just your experience. There are so many people with completely different experiences that you don’t know in many different things.

Everyone deserves their right to see the world as how they see it since their own life experience is completely different than yours. People can only have their own point of view. Conversation helps with understanding people. Many of the problems we face today around human interaction have to do with ignorance of other people. They think we are separate when really we have more things in common than we want to admit.

Three: People who do not see the point of having the conversation are the laziest, especially when they’d like to see some change in the world. If there are people out there who do not want to do anything and enjoy their lives, then to each their own. But there are those people who do complain about these various topics yet do not want to discuss them because they see an argument brewing. Everything got accomplished with some sort of conversation. Think about it. Hunting involved groups of men (and sometimes women) who had a conversation about what they were going to do to take down that lion.

Our constitution was written by a few men in conversation who disagreed on some things and agreed on others. Thankfully they agreed on the idea of freedom of speech. It is vital to have a better world.

Conversation is the start of change. Let’s start talking and, more importantly, listening to people. It’s also good for you and your brain. They say conversation can help prevent Alzheimer’s.

People get scared to have conversations with others because it causes aggression that can sometimes lead to violence. You can get angry and upset, but with the ideas. Not with the person! If violence escalates because of a conversation then there is definitely a problem with the person who gets aggressive.

Many great people have died from conversation and they paved the way for us to continue having the conversation. Fanatics and people in charge have always killed, tortured or locked up people to keep them quiet. It’s a dangerous but they have to speak up to make a change. They killed Martin Luther King to keep quiet. Nelson Mandela was incarcerated for 20 years to keep him quiet. Galileo was tortured by the Catholic Church to keep him quiet. The Templer, Jesus, Socrates understood that conversation is the start of change.

Good conversations can exist where a Muslim and an atheist can discuss their views without getting mad at the other person for the benefit of further understanding that when people say they believe it means they do not know.

People should be able to ask questions and talk about anything they don’t understand because that is the only way to better yourself and society. It’s all about understanding, learning, challenging. It’s about keeping up with life itself. It’s rewarding to learn new things and understand what makes the world go ‘round. We need adults to continue questioning everything they watch, read and hear.

Let me give you a story of how a few conversations brought some awareness about how my book can be viewed as being prejudiced. First of all, I did not realize this and I still fight it a little but I understand where people are coming from.

David’s cousin read the book and he told him that I was racist. David discussed it with me and realized that I was not necessarily racist, but actually prejudiced about certain groups. He started listening to the way I was saying things that didn’t make sense. Yes, it sounded prejudiced, so we had a conversation. It did not go anywhere so we put it on hold.

It took another woman whose name I can’t recall to explain something important to us. We met her at a coffee shop and told her about the book. She read it and when we saw her later asking what she thought, she was a little apprehensive in telling us something. I told her we want nothing but honesty. She said she liked it but her only problem with the book was it can be a little prejudiced. David agreed with her and we discussed it where I continued to say I was not prejudiced.

At work, David and I discussed this profusely. He tried to explain that he, his cousin, and this woman, all saw some sort of prejudiced views in the book. I kept saying I never judge people. David said, “The problem is you say Mexicans are the worst!” I said, “They are!” and he would say, “That’s prejudiced!”

We continued to talk and argue, even raising our voices. We didn’t get mad, we we’re just passionate about what we were saying. David was thinking about the woman from the coffee shop and he realized what she said: we are all just people. That’s when it hit him. “Leon, you say the Mexicans are the worst and the Israelis are the best when really you should say, the people in Mexico are doing a bad job and the people in Israel are doing a great job.”

I finally understood what he was saying. It all comes down to people. We are all people, brothers and sisters. I was using the wrong words. My English is not very good since I speak seven languages so I admit I was wrong. 

What I should have said was the people in Mexico are doing a terrible job with gang violence. The people in Israel are doing an excellent job with their country. I was mentioning that people in Mexico should study what they are doing in Israel so they can have a better way of life. It does not mean people in Mexico are any less than the people in Israel.

This revelation brought us to the realization that communication is so important. In The Mathematics of Life, I discuss how the Story of Babel is really a lesson on how people do not communicate rather than the story we get which is about God changing everyone’s language, which is just so damn silly. The people of Babel worked to build a giant tower and could not communicate effectively, so the tower fell down. David and I discussed and argued until we finally went somewhere: I have been saying things the wrong way completely. There’s nothing wrong with that or me. That’s why it’s great for David, who graduated with an English degree, to really understand what I am trying to say and get it out onto the page.

This leads me to my next topic: prejudices. It’s in our nature to categorize groups of people because it is easy. If a certain group of people keep doing dangerous or bad stuff to you, you will end up being prejudice to those people. The reason is you want to be cautious. People stay away from gangsters and hoodlums because they are dangerous. To them, they see Mexicans or blacks ruling the streets, depending on their area, so they keep away or move to a better neighborhood.

My road to being prejudiced happened when I would hire men who are from Mexico that I found at Home Depot to work on construction. My experience has shown that they steal my tools almost every time they’re on the job. Because of this experience, I am extra cautious when I hire a Mexican sitting in front of Home Depot. Does this mean I’m racist or prejudiced? According to David, I am prejudiced because if the person was white or black, I’m not that cautious. Why? Because I have not had black or white people steal my tools.

It’s very easy to blame someone for being prejudice and the only way we as a society are going to be better is if we talk and have a conversation about it so we can be the example to others so they can learn to do the same. If people are prejudice against you because of where you come from, don’t blame the people right away, try to be an example by learning how others are decent people.

There are many reasons why people steal. Some kids steal from stores while they’re parents do not scold them. They grow up to think it is okay. The parents don’t scold because their parents also steal. They don’t make enough money and need to survive, or they are jealous of people having things they don’t have. Whatever the reason, people are going to steal.

I live in Los Angeles, where people from Mexico come here to make some money. They need to survive so they steal. I understand that, which is why I’m trying to spread this message of conversation so we can talk about why this happens. When we do this, we can lead the way to stop it so we’re not all cautious all the time. You don’t enjoy company when you are being cautious. When you trust somebody completely, that is when you and I will be completely free.

We need conversation because religious leaders and government officials today are doing a miserable job in using human resources. Human resources mean when people are working, creating and making the world a better place. They’re doing a miserable job because they are only thinking about themselves. They are selfish. They should be looking out for people. We elect government officials. We trust our religious leaders. They take advantage of that and use the power to advance their own lives instead of serving the people.